Veiled Love
'' For Phoenix Flight's contest '' '' '' Smokepelt is invisible to most of his clanmates. That's fine with him, except that there's one she cat in the clan that makes his heart ache whenever he sees her. Frostpool. He tries to tell her his feelings, but fails every time. Chapter One Smokepelt. My name. A constant reminder of who I am, hidden forever, almost invisible to everyone in my clan. Thats how it was ever since I was an apprentice, after my father died by getting hit by a monster, and my mother, who died during my younger sibling's birth, unable to handle the stress and shock of my father's death. After that, I became quiet, reserved, never again hearing the outside world. I closed my eyes and ears to the pleas of my former friends, asking me to hunt with them, play with them, talk with them. My heart became cold, and quickly, I became ignored by my clanmates, who only spoke to me when they had to. I became dead inside, invisible to the outside, always shy and quiet. Even those who still pitied me, thought I had a chance, couldn't penetrate my heart. There were only three things in the world that kept me alive, though. My siblings, Qailpaw and Creekpaw now. They became strong, beautiful to my eyes, and I always sat next to them at the end of the day, when they curled next to my body, like when they were kits, and talked to me about their day. I would fondly stroke thier fur, comfort them if they were sad, join their joy when they were happy, they were the most precious things in my eyes. The third cat that kept my heart beating was a she cat, Frostpool. She and I were actually best friends when I was young, and I had a secret crush on her. I still do, even when it was moons when we actually had a real conversation . I remembered our last moments together. When I told her that I couldn't handle the stress of my life. She did what all true friends did- press against my muzzle, not saying a word. Then she pulled away, and looked down. "I suppose this is the last time we talked", I had mewed gently. "At least for a while." She looked at me, with hurt and surprise, but also a kind of understanding. We twined tails for the last time, then parted ways. I miss her with all my heart, but just seeing her, chatting with friends, looking happy and contented makes me feel better, at least a little. For the past few moons, I've been trying to get her attention, pour out my feelings to her. I chicken out at the last moment, always shying away, not strong enough to tell her. "Smokepelt!" A cheery voice wakes me up from my stupor. Qailpaw is standing over me, eyes shining. "I caught my first rabbit!" She points to the fresh kill pile where I can see the white, bobtailed creature that she caught. I purr, licking her ear. "It's pretty hard catching a rabbit, they're so fast.", I congragulate her. " She purrs happily, probably off to tell her brother about her rabbit. I stare after her. She seems so full of happiness, excited at probably the littlest things, a little happy-go-lucky cat. Chapter Two I watch the apprentices chatter about, and the warriors bustling about. Everything seems peaceful, yet still, I find no beauty in it...... "Oh look, it's the most happiest cat in the world!", a sarcastical voice jeers at me. I grit my teeth in anger. Did I mention I get bullied, too? Branchclaw, a brown tabby, the most handsome, cruelest, and selfish jerk in the clan-no the whole world, walks up. He attracts she-cats like bees to honey, and always has something bad to say about anything, which usually means Smokepelt, Smokepelt, and, of course, Smokepelt. "Of course", he continues, drawling his words out. "Poor widdle Sadpelt always has a frown on his face! What happened widdle Sadpelt? Did someone puke on you? Cus' you sure smell like it! Ha! Ha! Ha!" His usual gaggle of she cats all laugh with him. "Sunpelt", Branchclaw say, flicking his head to indicate a pretty little golden she cat beside him. "Do you think this widdle Sadpelt smells like puke?" Sunpelt flashes a wicked grin at me. "I think he smells like one of Wolfstep's." The whole group begins howling with laughter. (Wolfstep is one of the elders, with "digestive problems") Branchpelt, tears of laughter in his eyes, says "Hey, why don't we all leave Sadpelt alone before he starts crying! We've got better things to do than make fun of this crybaby!" He and his stupid admirers go off, obviously going to do something else unproductive and sadistic. Disgruntled, I shake my head, and go the opposite way of them, and bump into Frostpool. She looks at me with her big, blue eyes. "Hi Smokepelt", she says, then walks off. She's probably seen the whole thing. Embarrased, I run off to go hunting, my favorite thing to do. Chapter Three I return from hunting in the orange light of the end of the day, and pick out a vole from the prey pile. I polish off my vole with three neat bites, bury the remains, and turn to the warriors den to sleep, but my two little sibs cut me off. "We want to hear a story!", They choruse. I had to smile. They livened me in the best way possible, warming my heart for a little, before twighlight. "Well", I say, leading them away from camp, and to the grove of ferns we always went to each night. "You guys deserve it." They curl up against me, and I lick each of their heads before starting. "Hey!", Qailpaw protests. We're not kits anymore!" "Then you better start acting like an apprentice!", I tease. "We're kits only a moon ago!" I laugh at my sibling's funny expressions, and nuzzle them. "Once upon a time.....", I start. I yawn, stretching my gray, smoky pelt. My little brother and sister are snoring on my side, worn out from listining to my story. Gently, I lift them by their scruff and place them inside their nests in the apprentices den. Then, I pad into my own nest, and fall asleep, almost immediatly. For some reason, even when I know I'm asleep, I can open my eyes, to see two cats with stars glimmering in their fur. "Mother! Father!" I rush to their sides, and they smell like the distant stars in the sky, cold, but warm at the same time. "Son.", my parents stand next to me, an expression I can't make in their eyes. "You must thaw out of your ice. Your heart affects what you do, and what you do is your destiny." "W-what do you mean?!", I stammer, but my parents are already fading, and I suddenly wake up with the slightest trace of their scent in the air. The others are not awake. It is probably dawn, the sun about to rise. I stand outside, and watch as the sun slowly,but surely rises up into the sky, giving warmth to the cold morning air. It reminds me of my parents words. "You must thaw out of your ice. Your heart affects what you do, and what you do is your destiny." What did that mean? What was the ice? Was my heart actually the key to my destiny? There were so many questions in my head that I couldn't think. I stretched my back, feeling the warm morning sun wash all over my body. Some of the stress melted away as I breathed in the fresh, pure air, dissapearing like smoke in a breeze. Smoke. ''Thats how I felt. I needed to float away in the wind, in the breeze, let go of my troubles. "''But how?" ''My heart. Ice. Change. Destiny. All the puzzle pieces in my head were starting to come together. ''Is it that easy? To just forget it and live life as it is? '' ''Chapter Four I lie down, my body aching from the little border skirmish we had with Marshclan. They accused us of crossing the border, then we accused them of prey stealing, then it broke out into an all out fight. My clan leader, Shimmerstar, declared a break for the rest of the day for the ones who went on the patrol. I pick out a vole from the prey pile, and polish it off hungrily. I decide to take a walk to freshen my mind up. I run through the forest, the breeze whipping and whistling around me, blowing hair into the front of my eyes. I skid to a stop next to an oak, adreline still pumping in me. Then, I hear voices. Familiar ones too. Then, a whimper of fear. Creekpaw! I rush into the bushes and into a clearing, where Branchclaw, and, of course his fan club, are laughing at two young cats..... Qailpaw and Creekpaw! Leaping forward, I land in front of Branchclaw with a loud hiss. Branchclaw looks surprised for a moment, then laughs. "Hey, our good ol' friend Sadpelt is here. Did you want to join my list of victims?" "Don't touch them", I snarl with so much ferocity that Branchclaw almost backs down. Recovering, he jeers, "Oh, now he's angry and sad pelt! You really have to calm down. It's probably your smell that's causing it." I snap. Growling in anger, I leap onto Branchclaw. Surprised, he hisses with fury, and starts swiping me with his foreclaws. We battle for a few moments, exchanging swipe after swipe, and then Branchclaw's dumb mob of she-cats realize what's going on and dogpiles me. Branchclaw looks at me, truimph glittering in his eyes. "You are dead meat." He shakes off Qailpaw and Creekpaw, who are trying to stop him, and gently strokes my face with his claws. "This might hurt", he says mockingly. All I can do is snarl and spit at him as he prepares to give me the worst possible pain I will ever feel in my life, taking his time. He lifts his claws, then...... Chapter Five I'm in the medicine den, herbs plastered all over my face. I don't wan't to talk about what he did to me, but he did lie about me "having an accident" with a fox. It's been boring in here for the last few days, just sitting around the den and healing, but this is the last day . Outside, Shimmerstar calls a clan meeting. I walk outside, my scarred face giving me several sympathetic looks and a smirk from Branchclaw. Shimmerstar talks about the tensions of the borders betwwen us and Marshclan, and announces that we must fight for what is right. That surprises all of us, because she is usually pretty peaceful. "We battle tommorow night!", she announces, and a lot of cats cheer. I guess they were pretty sore about Marshclan, too. Later that day, I am on top of a pine tree, watching the sunset, the bright blue sky turning orange and red, then dark. "Hey." I jump in surprise, almost falling off the branch. Frostpool's standing right next to me. "What is it?", I ask, trying to sound normal and offhand. "I saw what happened with Branchclaw, the real truth, not a fox. And I'm really sorry for not telling Shimmerstar, or even anyone." I wince, remembering the events of the day. The slash on my face still hurts, and judging by the cut, I'm probably as ugly as even Branchclaw says I am. "What for?", I ask inquiringly. "Even if you told, no one would believe you. To think that their's a cat that does that is, well, unthinkable." She dips her head. "I see." Then she climbs back down to the ground, a mere shadow in the dark night. It's been weeks since that night, and life has gone back to normal. Except one thing. Something keeps nagging my mind. Why did Frostpool even apologize to me when it feels like forever since we last talked? It's like she still cares for me, worries for me. But why would that happen? Her eyes.... it felt like they were trying to tell me something . But I cut her off. I told her that it was fine, and it didn't matter. I shrug. It's time to go hunting, too. I manage to catch two voles before a wall of fur reeking of bullrushes and toads(don't ask me how I knew the scent of toad) came on me. Marshclan! They always attacked as a group, a single wave of fury that swamped anything under it. "Marshclan's attacking!", I manage to yowl out before I get flattened. 'mI surrounded by a sea of cats. I whirl around, exchanging blows with random cats and knowing that I was doomed, until a battle cry sounds. "Attack!" Chapter Six I've never been so happy to see them, as my clanmates flood around the throng of marshclan cats. A lithe, but muscular she-cats leaps on me. "You will pay for this!", she spits out. I manage to roll out of her grip, and give her a hard thump on the back. She goes flying, and with a crash, she manages to stagger away. Then, a large circle appears in the middle of the battle. Mudstar, the leader of marshclan, has Shimmerstar pinned against the floor. He sweeps the group of cats with a truimphirant gaze. "We have won!", he crows . Shimmerstar is still struggling on the ground. "Let me go, you fool!", she gasps. "Not a chance", says Mudstar nonchalantly, like he was discussing how prey was running. "Give up, or I will kill her!" We hesitate, unsure of what to do. Then a quick blur, so fast I can hardly register, dives on Mudstar. Mudstar whips around. "I will destroy you, you interfering piece of fox dung!" He pins the now-visible cat to the ground. Qailpaw! But the damage is done. Mudstar slits her throat, and she dies in a pool of her own blood, but it's given enough time for Shimmerstar to sneak up on him, and now pin him to the ground. "I should make you lose all your lives!", she snarls. "You've killed a young cat, barely an apprentice, but also a talented and ready apprentice. She has given up her life for me, and I will avenge her death!" She slashes his belly, a deep wound, fatal. But as soon as Mudstar's eyes dull, they quickly become light. The wound is closing, healing, but Shimmerstar still has him pinned down. "Please..... no.", Mudstar whispers. My... last.... life...." Shimmerstar gazes deep into his eyes, blue clashing against amber. I will let you go, but if you do this one more time, I will kill you. Now go!" She lets him go, on guard, but there is no need. He turns and flees, his warriors trailing after him. "He is not only a murderer, but a coward.", Shimmerstar hisses. She turns, and nods at me. "Thank you for the warning. We were lucky that we happened to be on the patrol to Marshclan's border." Then she turns to Qailpaw's corpse. "Thank you... you saved my life." She turns back to me again. "This is your sister, right? You may carry her to the camp." Numb with exhaustion and shock, I stumble toward camp, holding Qailpaw's body by the scruff of her neck. Chapter Seven When we reach the camp, the cats there show shock and surprise to our bedraggled appearances, with blood and marshclan scents on our pelts. "What happened?", Creekpaw askes as he bounds up to me, eyes wide with excitement. Then, he notices her body, and his eyes widen. "No! Not my sister!" All I can do is stare wearily after him as he curls up next to her body and cries his heart out. "Qailpaw, why'd you have to die? You said we would always be there for each other!" He turns to me, tears in his eyes. "Like I said, what happened?!" I feel stress weighing down on my shoulders like a heavy burden that I cannot shed. "Qailpaw....died to Mudstar..." Thats all I can say before I collapse, the world fading, until all that is left is darkness. I wake up in the medicine cat's den. "You blacked out. Too much stress and tiredness.", the medicine cat, Talonwing says without turning his head from the rack of herbs he is examining. "You'll be fine. Just don't exert too much energy." I realize that he's telling me that I can leave, and I stagger outside. The first cat that comes up to me is Creekpaw. "I buried her by the river. She really liked it there.She said it reminded her of peaceful times." I nod solenmly. "I'm sorry that I couldn't make it in time to see her final moments." Creekpaw curls up beside me. "I wish this would have never happened.", he whispers. "Mom and Dad dying, Qailpaw, everything. I really miss them." I groom his fur, which is messy and untidily arranged. He probably never groomed ever since she died.... I can't even say her name. Creekpaw buries his head into my shoulders. "Why'd they all have to die?", he whimpers. For a moment, he's like a little kit, crying in his mother's embrace. "The best thing you can do", I say gently, "Is to honor her decision to save Shimmerstar, and wish her well in Starclan." What I've never done when Mom and Dad died. Creekpaw stands up stiffly. "I have a hunting patrol", he says, his expression unreadable. He runs off, and I wonder what his future will be like. Will it be cheerful, full of light, full of happiness, or will he end up like.....like me. I stand up, and start walking to the river that flows in our territory. There, I know what I will find. A pile of smooth, river stones, and a stick to indicate Qailpaw's burial. Just saying her name makes me feel a little stronger. And maybe, just maybe, I will find a path, a path that leads to light, newleaf, warmth, and love. Maybe, I could learn how to grow up, and finally have my heart shine again. Chapter Eight There, next to the willows, the sun shines through, making the light of the setting sun glow through in little slivers. It also makes Qailpaw's gravestones glow, a light that makes a spark in my heart. I make a little prayer in my mind. "Qailpaw, if you're listining, give me strength. And make Creekpaw happy again." I turn back, as the sun slowly gives in to the blackness of the night. There, in the bushes are two blue eyes. I flinch in surprise as Frostpool steps out of the brambles. Her white, silverish fur is littered with twigs and leaves, but still glows brightly in the orange light of the setting sun. Her eyes are guilty, like she interrupted an important event. She shyly walks up to me, slowly, unsure. "Smokepelt, I'm sorry that you lost such a great sister." I shake my head. "It feels like there's so much losses in my life. I wish I was not so...so foolish. For her. And Creekpaw." She touches my back with her tail, gently, tentatively, to see what my reaction would be like. "We all have losses, Smokepelt. Even the most fortunate of us. But what we can do is not blame ourselves and start living fully. Qailpaw knew that. That's why she gave up so much." I scrape the ground in frustration."She was my sister." Frostpool nudges me sympathetically. "I know, Smokepelt. Just know that your friends, clanmates, all of them will be there for you." She starts to leave. I bow my head, staring at Qailpaw's grave. She deserved so much, and yet she was loyal till the end, sacrificing her life to save her leaders. I leave, and as I do, I feel a little warmth come into me. Qailpaw's gift. Chapter Nine I wake up in the early dawn, the rolling mist blending with my pelt. I can hardly see anything. Then the fog billows away, and Boulderfang, Creekpaw's mentor, comes running up towards me. "Have you seen Creekpaw?", he says worriedly. "He said he was going on patrol with me, but when I looked in his nest, he was gone!" I start panicking. Can I lose Creekpaw too? Struggling to calm myself down, I say, "He must want some time off. After all, he lost his sister." Boulderfang nods, and disappears into the gloom. Where is he? I head off toward the forest, trying to drink in his scent. After hours of searching, I finally find his scent trail. It ends next to the river. Looking up, I see Creekpaw's head bobbing up and down in the water. "Creekpaw!", I yowl. I jump in, and grab his pelt. He snarls and tries to wriggle out of my grasp. "Don't stop me! I miss my sister!" I try to pull him to shore, talking to him all the way. "This is not the solution, Creekpaw. You have a life to live. You're sister would have wanted it." Creekpaw is still struggling. "How do you know what she wants?! Just let me die!" I desperately hold on to him. "Creekpaw, you can't give up. You still have me, and your friends. Let the dead lie in peace, and live your life." He finally stops. "I loved her.", he whimpers. "I know.", I whisper. "I loved her too. But she's in a better place now." Suddenly, a huge rocks comes right toward Creekpaw. "Go!", I screech, pushing him out of the way. The rock hits me, and all I see is darkness. "Creekpaw", I say weakly, as I float away. Chapter Ten I awake in a strange forest, mist swirling around me. A vague shape appears in the gloom, and when it gets close, the fog swirls away. "Mom..", I whisper. "My kit", she greets me. "I have brought you here to tell you this message." "Am-am I dead", I meow, inturrupting her. She lets out a purr of amusement. "You still have a life to live. Make it yours" Her eyes glow, and wind blows around me. ''"Take heed, for you must live again, burn bright, never again feel dead, Smokepelt." '' I wake up with a gasp. Several cats are all around me, and I recognize Creekpaw, Frostpool,Talonwing, the medicine cat, and surprisingly, one of my former friends, Grassclaw. I try to sit up, but unbearable pain courses through my head. "You're alive!" Creekpaw presses next me. His eyes are guilty. "I'm sorry! I almost killed you. It's all my fault!" I lick his muzzle fiercely. "I would do anything for you. You're my only brother, and since we both had our loved ones die, its important to stay together." Creekpaw sniffles, then starts bawling like a kit. I comfort him the best I can, wrapping him around my tail. One of the cats around me steps up. It's Frostpool. "Creekpaw never slept. He took constant vigil you know.", she says softly, reminding me of our conversation. "That's nothing. Frostpool dragged us out of the river! Without her, we both would've drowned!", Creekpaw says shakily. She akwardly stares at me. "It was what all....friends..... would do." I purr. "You really are a great friend." She blushes. "I'm sorry for never telling that sooner", I say, feeling guilt spark in me. The medicine cat ushers everyone out, with a knowing glance behind his back. "I've always wanted to be freinds with you again, Frostpool, I say, with a little shyness. "In fact, I was wondering if we could be....more than friends?" Her eyes widen with surprise and pleasure, and she curls up next to me. "I feel the same way.", she says, her eyes on the floor. "When you, er, left, I felt empty." She falters, and I press against her, urging her to continue. "I loved you, Smokepelt, ever since we were apprentices." I purr happily. "Me too. You mean a lot to me, Frostpool." She smiles, and brushes her tail against my cheek. "Well, I'll see you later, when you're well." She bounds off happily. When she's gone, Grassclaw pokes his head in. "Can I, uh, talk to you for a second?" I nod. "You were a great friend.", he blurts out. "I mean, we met each other when we were kits, and we were even blood brothers." I purr, remembering our "ceremony of friendship". "Just know that when ever you need a guy to hunt with you, you can count on me.", he mutters, and he leaves. I contemplate the events of today. It was filled with pain, but happiness in the end. I feel something dissapate in my chest, and the feeling of loneliness goes with it. I smile, feeling the flowers of spring blossom in my heart.